"Wow we are just coming up to 19 weeks and as I said in my last exclusive article for Mumii, the weeks were flying by at christmas time. Well, the last week has really gone slow! I think it's because I've hit the stage were things started to go wrong with Alfie. I'm definitley feeling more anxious now, I seem to have a bad day once a week where I feel overly worried. Last Thursday was one of those days when our baby girl was a bit quiet in the morning. I started to wonder if she was OK as that was what Alfie was like a few days before we lost him. I think it just plays on my mind a lot some days, but I think anyone that has been through a stillbirth and has then been through a new pregnancy will say the same. It's hard but come the afternoon, she was really active which definitley put my mind at ease.
She seems to be getting into a routine of waking up around mid morning and then is awake again in the afternoon. I get most of the movements in the evening, she's definetly a night time girl. I have noticed over the last week that her kicks have got loads stronger and we can now see them on the outside! It always amazes me to watch new life growing inside my belly. It's such a magical feeling.
I also think my bump has grown this week, although I was comparing my 18 week bump to my 18 week Alfie bump and I was definitly bigger with Alfie. I think you could tell he was a boy bump.
I have been struggling to commit to buying anything baby-related but today I did buy her a beautiful crib, even if it did take me quite a few attempts to finally press the 'buy' button. I kept coming off it because I just couldn't bring myself to buy it. I suppose there was a part of me that didn't want to jinx things, but I had to give myself a shake and say I need to stay positive and start plannng for our beautiful baby girl. When I did finally buy it, it did feel good. It was definitely a big milestone for me. We have also bought her a few outfits, some really pretty dresses. Her big sister Chloe bought her this outfit...
It's a Minnie Mouse dress and her hat has been customised with her name on it, it was so lovely to see it with her name on and I can't wait for her to wear it. I'm now trying to plan her nursery, I'm thinking it has to be rainbow themed for her! I think we are going to make a start on that next week so any ideas will be very gratefully recieved.
On Friday we had our 18+ week scan and consultant meeting, the scan went brilliantly the sonographer checked her over and said everything looks fine with her but will obviously do the more detailed anomaly scan in two weeks time. She said she couldn't see any problems.
We asked her if she could see the baby's gender and she did confirm she is still a GIRL! She was so active and kept kicking the probe! I don't think she liked it too much (lol!). She was being a bit shy and not showing us her face but we did see her beautiful face at the end of the scan and it looked like she was just about to suck her thumb again. She is growing really well so the consultant is very happy! I'm now feeling so much more relaxed."
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